Christmas – Pulling a Cracker or Lighting the Blue Touch Paper?
Written by Julian Hall on December 3, 2010
Julian Can be listened to, talking about how to survive Christmas on BBC Radio Derby on Monday December 5th.
As the adverts hit TV and the shops all change their windows we have known, from October onwards, that Christmas is coming. I love the preparation. I love buying gifts, and I look forward to seeing others reactions when they open them. I love choosing the food we will eat and I look forward to spending time with family and friends.
But that is where it can so often go wrong. Spending a compressed amount of time with people who we would not normally choose to spend time with and expecting it to be easy. Throw in children who have been building up with excitement for two months and are ready to blow like a bottle of pop. Add to that the long memories of family feuds, the annoying little things that only people close to you can do, put in a dash of alcohol and wait.
Is it any wonder that calls to Relate increased by over 59% over Christmas period 2009? The Samaritans also expect to receive one call every six seconds over Christmas and New Year.
So what can you do to ease the tensions and to avoid that explosive moment that can lead to broken relationships and years of pain?
- Lower your expectations. That goes for your expectations of how the day will go according to your plan and your expectations of others behaviours. There is nothing better for causing anger than the weight of unrealistic expectation.
- Let the children have their presents in stages. This lengthens their enjoyment of the day and gives you a bargaining chip for good behaviour as the day goes on. How many families do you know where the children are bored by lunch time?
- Buy lower alcohol beers and wine and make an effort to moderate how much you drink.
- Take everyone out for a walk after lunch. People interact more when they walk together, it gives everyone space from each other and reduces the amount of time for drinking.
- Invite others into the kitchen to help with cooking the meal. People bond, open up, and enjoy company more when helping each other and it takes little of the pressure off the cook
Remember, it is the time of goodwill to all so let’s help each other enjoy it.
About The Author
I chose to train with the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM) after observing bullying in the workplace and becoming interested in the after effects of anger on the individual. I offer one to one coaching as well as group programmes.
Most recently I have been training staff dealing with the top 2% of problem families in the borough of Ealing, West London as well as helping teachers and carers in Rochdale understand anger.
Recommendations have led me to be working with adults with learning difficulties and addictions centres.
I have also developed bespoke programmes for companies, with emphasis on call centres. These help employees deal with the effects of anger directed at them and can be particularly effective at improving staff morale and reducing absenteeism.
